Love?

I really hope this is just a dream. I'm giving up. once again? fuck my life.
im over it. i realized that I wont ever catch a moment of your attention.
i will never be the one who makes you smile. i wont even be the one who makes you cry.

face it, im not good enough.

at least realizing it feels better then forcing myself to think otherwise.


I already feel us falling apart, and it's killing me.
There's this deep feeling inside of me, and its telling me to pull you closer.
I told you enough that you know im toast without you,
but somehow I feel like soon you might be gone for good.


on another note, since my blogs are always bipolar.
im actually considering leaving..not for school, not for anything or anyone..just packing up and going away..far away.
and finding someone to love me..who won't give me false hope, or continuously fuck me over..much like every girl who has ever walked into my life has.

my god. schuylar croom.
that was the greatest moment of my life.
meeting my biggest vocal inspiration was probably the best thing that happened to me.
and he was interested in me. he talked to me about what I want to do. and he said something that hit me like a bag full of bricks, and that stuck with me like gum under a table.

" I hope one day I get this excited to shake YOUR hand "


so as I lay here, writing this to...well...kacie seeing how shes the only person reading this.
i hope your day gets better.
because I cant be happy unless you are.